DivorceCare

A friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences. Don’t go through separation or divorce alone.
Wednesdays, 6:30-8pm (Sep-Dec, Jan-Apr)
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DivorceCare is a confidential and caring group of people who have experienced it first hand. We know the pain. We understand what you are going through. We’ll walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences

DivorceCare groups meet weekly to help you face these challenges and move toward rebuilding your life. Each session has two distinct elements:

A Seminar with Experts
During the first 30–40 minutes of the meeting, each DivorceCare group watches a video seminar featuring top experts on divorce and recovery subjects. These videos are produced in an interesting-to-watch television magazine format featuring expert interviews, real-life case studies and on-location video.

A Support Group with Focus
After viewing the video, DivorceCare group participants spend time as a support group, discussing what was presented in that week’s video seminar and what is going on in the lives of group members.

Your kids can attend Awana Club too. Kids (age 0 – 6th grade) enjoy fun with friends, playing organized gym games, singing, learning values, and earning awards. Kids participate in age-specific groups: Puggles (age 2), Cubbies (ages 3-5), Sparks (K-1st-2nd), T&T (3rd-4th), or PAK (5th-6th). Kids are safely checked in and out. Dedicated volunteers invest in each child. Club shirt, book, bag, and awards included with $25 supplies fee.

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Divorce Care | Jan-April 2016

Divorce Care is a confidential and caring group of people who have experienced it first hand. We know the pain. We understand what you are going through. We’ll walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences.

Divorce Care meets Wednesday nights starting Jan 20. Feel free to join us any following Wednesday. You don’t have to start on week one.  Starts at 7pm and goes until 8:25pm in the “PAK room” on the church property.  (The group meets every Wednesday until April 20, excluding Apr 6).

Optional: Start each week with a free home cooked meal at 6:30 upstairs in the common grounds room

Children?  We offer programming for children age 0 – 6th grade.  Find out more here.

Click here to let us know you are interested.


Our Neighbor: Jason stays connected

By Amy Jo Steinbruecker on January 4, 2016

We aren’t meant to do it alone.

“Divorce is so common that it’s easy to think nothing of it,” Hanover Park resident and local business entrepreneur Jason T stood in front of the congregation one service and said. In 2010, after nearly 15 years of marriage, Jason’s wife and the mother of his four children, asked him for a divorce.

Jason went from having a wife, a house full of children, and a small business to a mountain of bills, an empty house and a failing business. But he also had a relationship with the Lord and a church family that loved and supported him.

JasonHe didn’t open up about his pain for many months, but as a Christian from childhood he knew that he needed his church family. He stayed connected with Bloomingdale Church, where he had previously attended Sunday morning 8:30 services with his wife and children. His parents were also regular attenders. Although it wasn’t comfortable starting over again alone, Jason stayed connected by volunteering as an usher and eventually joined the Creative Collective group.

Finally, he took the time to share with Pastor Bill Calvin that the divorce had taken a toll on him and he wasn’t sure what to do. Pastor Bill suggested a local church’s divorce recovery group. He didn’t know much about it and didn’t really push Jason to check it out. Trying out new things with strangers when you are hurting is hard for anyone, but he knew one important lesson, “we are not created to handle burdens by ourselves.” It took Jason some time to finally get the courage to go… today he wishes he didn’t wait.

Jason decided that he doesn’t want others to wait to get the love and support from a church group. He knows that it is easy to get sucked into some of the poor choices this world offers – addicting substances, rushing into new relationships, life of recluse or life as a workaholic.

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Jason started Bloomingdale Church’s Divorce Care group.

So Jason worked with the church to start a Divorce Care group right here at Bloomingdale Church — a safe environment with honest people that can relate to each other and share and struggle through these issues together.

If you haven’t figured out how Jason’s story is ending… well, it has a long way to go. He is back on his feet running his own small agency in Bloomingdale called JET Advertising. He is blessed with handyman skills and completed work on a fixer-upper townhome in Hanover Park. He enjoys working with the Creative Collective group and has been inspired by member Bill M who was a creative director of many famous advertising accounts during his working days.

Jason spends his free time reading, playing online video games and taking nature hikes. He’s working on reconnecting with his 3 adult children and 1 teen.

So the next time you hear about someone going through a divorce, Jason asks you to not dismiss the information. Understand that their life is turning upside down. Please tell them that there is a place they can come to where people understand what they are facing… people who have walked in their shoes.


Why Divorce Care?

By Daniel Riem on May 28, 2015

The personal devastation of a divorce is difficult to comprehend unless you actually end up caught in the middle of it. Divorce is deeply painful and creates volumes of wounding and turmoil in a person’s life and their loved ones’ lives. Often a spouse and innocent children do not want the divorce, and they are overwhelmed by being forced into it.

Facing a divorce that you don’t want and yet can’t stop?  Please let us know that you are interested and we will notify you with the details for the next session.


Jason’s Story

By Daniel Riem on May 26, 2015

For years you would see me and my whole family at the early Sunday worship hour. Same spot each week. In 2010 my wife asked me for a divorce and my world started to crumble around me. Three of our four kids wanted little/nothing to do with me. I faced huge compiling debts, and my young business was failing, forcing me to go on unemployment. I stopped eating, could barely sleep and was sad and cried every day. That was my life while going through my divorce,  It was bad. Perhaps you know people that have gone through a divorce. Prior to this experience,  I had multiple relatives and friends go through a divorce, and to be honest, my reaction was pretty lame. You may just as well told me it was going to rain. I had no idea how devastating it was.  Until you experience a divorce, it’s hard to relate.

So please permit me to try to help us all relate to divorce. You know the feeling you get when you get pulled over by the police? It’s similar when you have a police officer serve you court papers at your home or work.  Do you know what its like to go to court? Any legal battle can be daunting. It is awful when your family, and all of your possessions are at stake. Do you know what its like to have a loved one pass away? Its not exactly the same, but to me losing my wife I loved felt like becoming a widow. How about the experience of being a social outcast?  When I was going through the divorce, I felt like I had no place to fit in. Not with families, not with my single friends, and it seemed like everyone we ever knew picked a side, and I lost touch with the people that picked the other side.  Have you ever experienced tough financial times? That awful feeling when you don’t know how you are going to make the house payment, or the car payment, or buy groceries. The legal costs for a divorce are oppressive. There’s your lawyer, your spouse’s lawyer and even a lawyer for your kids. Plus now you have two households, two house payments and two sets of utility bills. Imagine if you had to pay a huge legal bill, and if all of your bills doubled each month.  Picture walking up to the house you and your family have lived in for years. Inside is the typical gathering of friends and family present to celebrate a birthday. You go the front door and knock and have to wait for someone to let you in.

Imagine day after day, week after week, dropping your kids off and telling them that you will see them on the next scheduled visitation. Worrying if something happens on the off day, that you will not be there for them. Imagine becoming an empty nester after every other visitation. One day, a full house, the next day an empty one.  Imagine after being married and faithful to your spouse for years, and wanting things to stay that way, but you cannot hang on to it!

Divorce is awful.  And I went from barely noticing when someone was going through a divorce, to being painfully  aware and empathic to how much turmoil a person in that situation is facing.

I was blessed to have the support of my church and my family when I was struggling so much. I am also hopeful for others since Bloomingdale Church will be offering a divorce care group.

We were not created to handle burdens by ourselves. I tried counseling – it didn’t solve my problems.  I talked to friends/family, but often they couldn’t relate.  Unfortunately our world offers plenty of poor decisions, like hit the bars, overwork yourself, become a recluse, or Jump into another relationship.

What I needed was a safe environment, some honest people I could relate to, a group of people to share and struggle together through these issues

This is what the Divorce Care group is all about:

  • Its an inviting, inclusive group coming together to help each other in this ugly situation.
  • It’s relational, sharing unique problems that most people don’t understand.
  • Its an opportunity for growth, change, development, restoration.

Now over five years after my wife asked me for a divorce, I can tell you that I am truly blessed. My life has stabilized around me. My journey has provided me with some amazing stories of God’s love, some really wonderful friends, and a closeness to God that I only experienced in these troubled times.